The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred there lies A murderous desire for love How can they look into my eyes And still they dont believe me How can they hear me say those words And still they dont believe me And if they don't believe me now Will they ever believe me? And if they don't believe me now Will they ever believe me?
The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred there lies A plundering desire for love How can they see the Love in our eyes And still they don't believe us And after all this time They don't want to believe us And if they dont believe us now Will they ever believe us? And when you want to live How do you start? Where do you go? Who do you know?
Richard was listening to this on his last night on earth, he was with his friend Peter.
I believed in him my sonshine .... the pain you were in
Sonshine, my heart is broken / Mum
The moment that you died, my heart split in two. One side filled with memories. The other died with you. I often lay awake at night, when the world is fast asleep. And take a walk down memory lane, with tears upon my cheeks, Remembering you is easy, I do it every day. But missing you is heartache, that never goes away. I hold you tightly within my heart, and there you will remain. Life has gone on without you, But never will be the same.
Sonshine/ Yvonne
Another long and restless night I awake with my heart feeling tight
A tear running down my cheek To show me again that I’m so weak
I lay back to try to sleep Instead, all I do is weep
The tears, they still flow No one could ever know
What it meant to lose you And have my life shattered into
I think so often of your sweet smiles How you made everyone happy for miles
I look for you in the heavenly skies Remembering your beautiful brown eyes
My eyes are always filled with tears Wishing & praying that you were here
No farewell words were spoken Now, without you, life is so broken
It’s so hard to believe you aren’t here To know I can no longer hold you near
Now there are only rivers full of tears For us to wade in through the years
We didn’t even have a chance for good-byes And that is why we all miss you and cry
We know you are now our Angel And you’ll protect us from every angle
Until in Heaven we meet with joy Once again, I’ll see my baby boy
My sonshine Richard / Mum
Why did you have to leave me why did you have to die? Was I not meant to keep you why do I have to cry? I want you back here with us things can never be the same how can I just go on each day and play life's awful game? You were my much wanted son I love you very much I'll never again see you laugh or cry or feel your gentle touch I need to get some answers my questions seem ignored I feel so lost and lonely here oh, help me please my lord take good care of my son now you've taken him from me wrap him tightly in your arms and kiss him tenderly please tell him that I love him so and will wait forever more and save a place for me one day when i'll be whole once more .
Together/ Mum
TOGETHER We rise together, up into the sky, We join together, watch the world pass by.
We are together, together as a cloud, Standing out to each other in the worldly crowd.
We fall together, as hard, heavy rain, On hitting the ground we both experience the hard, heavy pain.
We ride the wind together, with Understanding at the reigns, Despite the upset, a bond remains.
You are my wind, but together we fly, We’re very apart, but together we cry.
You will always be that wind, pushing me high, I will always be that heartache making you cry.
Together we hurt, and that feeling reigns, Each heart being eaten by the love it contains.
We’ll fall to the ground together, once again as rain, For someone I have found, to share my pain.
We’ll come together once more, as a tear-soaked cloud, Emerge to each other from beneath our shroud.
We will rise again together, on the day we die. We’ll hold hands together, on the path to the sky.
YOU ME & TIME Ah! Fragile bosom of mine aches and bleeds, to witness... those flowers that you showered on my steps, have now transformed into thorns that pierce my steps.
Those hands, that used to feed, have now become cold, letting me to starve.
Those soft moistening lips that used to, quench the thirst of my dry and parched lips, have now transformed into a menacing spear piercing straight into my heart as if, I am a swine.
Those soothing eyes that encouraged and smiled at my failures too have now frozen showing no emotions at my success too.
Those cozy and warm arms of yours that always gave me warmth and shelter during my woes have now started suffocating me.
That dark lustrous hair of yours which used to arouse and stir every hair of mine have now started itching and irritating me.
In such wretched plight I realize… everything around us has changed. But I wonder… What?
So Sorry I didn't get to write to you on your memorial day, but I just lost my Brother as you know and I have been having a hard week. I am sure Joe is with you and Justin now telling you all the funny stories and jokes he always shared with us. I
I was out watering Justin's garden today and there were two white golf tee's just sticking out of the ground. David said he has no idea where they came from. Two of them, my first thought it's Justin and Richard at it again. Then of course i saw a black snake crawl up in the garden near where i was standing. Practical jokers the two of you. Well I didn't scream like you wanted me to.
On your memorial day I went out onto the porch with my coffee that morning and there sat the butterfly that I always say is you and Justin It's wings are blue design on top and orange design underneath. Your mum's color for you is blue, and my color for Justin is orange. Thank you both for all the signs you send me and please stay near your Mum and continue to show both of us signs that the pair of you are near.
It's been four long years since you have been gone. Please be with your Mum tonight as she needs you. I feel like I know you through your Mum We always talk about you and my Kevin and what wonderful sons we have. Sure, both have you weren't angels on earth but you now are in heaven.
I would like to share a poem with you.....
Here is a poem Steve (a friend of Kevin's) wrote for me this year on Kevin's heaven date.
"They say when your sad, there's nothing to fret
there are things to remember, and things to forget
Yet, when you think deeper, the memories all flow
Together they'll touch you where ever you go
You live and you learn, you heal and you grow
yet the pain that you feel, you think no one could know
Yet all of us know, that this pain deep inside,
Will all be concluded, cause (Kevin's) Richard's by your side
And with (Kev) Richard by our side, and his wind to our wing
There's no reason we can't soar, and why Angel's shouldn't sing
The birds hid in the trees There wasn´t the smallest breeze While the woods froze in nameless grieve Unable to believe that this would be the day...
No more waves came rolling in No more leaves would toss and spin The rivers would dry out but swell Knowing all too well that this would be the day...
The sunlight held no relief The moon sneaked in like a thief And stole my peace of mind And left my heart blind on this cursed day The day you went away
They said you´re somewhere safe My eyes see only a grave It all seemed so untrue This pain that I went through since that day The day you went away
A Always N Near G Gods E Everlasting L Love & Light .°•.♥.•°.°⠀?. ♥.•°.°•.♥.• ?.. ♥
This is my healing garden where loving care resides, everyone's always welcome here so please do come inside. . Know that you have friends here that really truly care, and will listen to your troubles with sympathetic ears. . We are here to comfort you our feelings most sincere, with loving care within our hearts we'll put away your fears. . We'll teach you how to understand to let hate and anger go, and let the sadness and the pain away....so gently flow. . When you let the sadness slide and let your heart forgive, and accept the life God gave to you then you have learned to live. . Welcome to my garden friend where healing hearts reside, it doesn't matter who you are you're welcome here inside. ..°•.♥.•°.° •. ♥.•°.°•.♥.• .. ♥
(¯`v´¯) `•.¸.•´ ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`♥ Love and God Bless
Look at those! You have your mum's strong feet,' I teased.
'Mum, you're embarrassing!' you half-complained.
We sat and compared foot sizes on the wooden coffee table. Our feet showed the similar dusting of walking without shoes.
'Mine are still bigger,' I stated triumphantly. But not for long, I thought.
Then one day, I saw your big toe, the nail needing a trim. Unusually grand and edged in a healthy pink, it looked smooth and clean despite the neglect of teenage hygiene.
'Put your foot up here. What size do you wear?' I asked, giving you a chance to brag.
'A men's 9's,' you said with a grin.
Shoulder against shoulder, on a faded couch, we once more put our feet on the coffee table.
'You're going to be tall,' I said. My foot looked small in comparison and bore the calluses and bunions of life.
'When you were born, you were the smaller than one of your feet. And, your big toe, that was the size of one of your arms.'
Squished together, we paused for a moment, letting this thought seep in. You looked at me through soft strands of blonde as I gazed past your foot to a time when
I had held your newborn body in one hand. A wiggle of your cold toes against mine brought me back.
'Now, go trim your nails!' I ordered.
Months later, I stare at your old, worn trainers, resting on your bedroom floor.
The laces are frayed at the ends and the white leather is scraped and gray. I slowly slip my feet into the wide openings, so they won't sit empty. It's time for a new pair of shoes but you don't need them.
They put a tag on your big toe that read:- 28/08/04 - suicide.
Forever Young - Bob Dylan / A. J. Burke (sis)Read >>
Forever Young - Bob Dylan / A. J. Burke (sis)
May God bless and keep you always May your wishes all come true May you always do for others And let others do for you May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every rung May you stay forever young Forever young, forever young May you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous May you grow up to be true May you always know the truth And see the lights surrounding you May you always be courageous Stand upright and be strong May you stay forever young Forever young, forever young May you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy May your feet always be swift May you have a strong foundation When the winds of changes shift May your heart always be joyful And may your song always be sung May you stay forever young Forever young, forever young May you stay forever young.
Poem/ Fran Justin's Mom Evans (Friend to Mum )Read >>
Poem/ Fran Justin's Mom Evans (Friend to Mum )
Inner Tempest Stilled by Beenie Legato
Sometimes I sense a little flutter. Like a shadow swiftly slipping by. Or I hear a silent, gentle murmur. Like a soft whisper from out the sky.
Sometimes... I hear you call my name, Or clearly see your face before me. And I feel that you are with me still. Then peacefully... I come to know
As I am thinking happy thoughts of you You, my son, are thinking of me too. Loving memories fill my aching heart. As dreaming dreams of what could be.
Or might have been, if you were here. Until the piercing pain of losing you Comes tumbling down on trembling fear. And clearly once again I hear you say,
"But Mom…What if I had never been. You could not then in LOVE remember me."
The days ahead will be hard on Mum, so you be sure to let her know you are near in any way that you can. Maybe you and my Justin can play a few little tricks on her like you do at times to both of us. Your personalities are so much alike. I would have loved to have met you Richard. When your Mum talks about you, it sounds just like she is talking about Justin. You are both our baby boys, and we miss you more than you could ever know. Thank you for guiding your Mum to me. Our friendship means the world to me. We both know that when times are the hardest, we have each other to turn to, because we both know the pain of losing our youngest child, our baby. Kepp that Justin in line. He may be quiet, but he can be a stinker when he wants to. Give Mum those wonderful hugs of yours. She will feel them, I know she will.
AWhen I come to the end of my journey And I travel my last weary mile, Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned And remember only my smile. Forget unkind words I have spoken Remember some good I have done Forget that I ever had heartache, And remember I've had lots of fun. Forget that I've stumbled and blundered, And sometimes fell by the way Remember I've fought some hard battles, And won, by the close of day. Then forget to grieve for my going I would not have you sad for a day But in summer, just gather some flowers, And remember the place where I lay. And come in the shade of the evening When the sun paints the sky in the west Stand for a few moments beside me, And remember only my best.
Unanswered Questions Haunt Us Now by Linda J. Stilson
Unanswered questions haunt us now. Asking why, and knowing how. What happened to our child that day? To make them feel they had to die that way, To end their life and break our heart. The pain so deep we fall apart. Others tell us that we should move on. Easy for them who still have their daughter or son. They have no idea of the pain of walking in our shoes. Until they lose a child they have no idea and have no clues. There is no time table for our grief to end. Better to offer their compassion and an ear to lend. Than to tell us our child was selfish and unkind. Or a coward, than one with a troubled mind. Their pain was real and confused them so, Their feelings were more like an enemy or foe. If they had cancer, people would show more care, But with suicide it’s a secret they don’t want to hear. Maybe if they did, we wouldn’t want to know, About what they looked like or why they had to go. Autopsies and police reports, do we really want to see. Wondering if it will help eliminate the images haunting thee. Why do we want to know those last details of their final days? Knowing it could haunt us more in many painful ways. Is this the way our life will be forever more? Left with only memories of our child before? Our patience gone, our smiles a frown. Spend our day in a dressing gown. No appetite, no desire to bathe or clean. Grief rips our heart and leaves us mean. Unanswered questions haunt us now. Asking why and knowing how. Only time and prayers will help us heal. And telling others about how we feel. But missing our child will never end or go away. But hopefully our grief will end for us some day.
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